I’m back. Sort of.

There was a time when i wanted to write nearly all the time. That changed when i began to be treated for my sleep apnea. For those that don’t know, i lost about 20 years of my life in a fugue state and by all rights, should have died in my sleep many times due…

How trashy (and sad)

I have a profile on OKCupid. It’s… well, it’s free and you get what you pay for. A few days ago I was playing around on it, using a feature I hadn’t used before. Of course, my ex shows up. There was the pic she used before we met, which had been taken years before…

My theme just went piggly wiggly

The theme i’ve used for years, Stargazer, was updated a few days ago. It appears that it forced a new appearance and one that, frankly, i’m not very happy with. In the coming days, as time allows, I’ll find another theme and change things but until then, synaesthetic is going to look kind of rough.…

Sundays are still tough

I have only a few minutes left in this day before i have to sleep. We’re deep in the rain season here in the PNW. It can be a time of absolute splendor; beauty beyond description. But it has its challenges. The sun begins to move toward the western horizon at an alarming rate by…

Part one

There have been so many changes in my life in the last two years that i’m not even going to begin to describe all of them here. But i can’t seem to describe ANY of them either. A few months after my breakup, i came into some information that i was previously ignorant of. It…

Prelude

It’s been a long time since i’ve written anything. Even now i don’t want to write because sometimes just talking about experiences can cause me to fall back into that experience and undo the healing that i’ve worked so hard to earn. Sometimes just remembering what i’ve been through is like eating a lump of…

Ways to not give advice

Much has happened to me in the time since my last post. There hasn’t been a lot of good in these last few months but there’s been at least one good thing to come out of it. That and a lot of other items will have to be discussed in another post. Today i wanted…

empty

A few days ago i made a decision that i hoped i would never have to make. It was the last time i would acknowledge someone that used to be my best friend and it hurt more than i can describe. There was no satisfaction in doing this, no satisfaction whatsoever. It was one of…

Nisqually

Today was a bit rougher than i thought it would be. I knew i was going to have to drive through my ex’s home town of Olympia. That includes Tumwater, Olympia and Lacey. Each town has more than a few memories. But it was going to Nisqually National Wildlife Refuge that i was simultaneously looking…