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  • Prelude

    It’s been a long time since i’ve written anything. Even now i don’t want to write because sometimes just talking about experiences can cause me to fall back into that experience and undo the healing that i’ve worked so hard to earn. Sometimes just remembering what i’ve been through is like eating a lump of… Read more

  • Much has happened to me in the time since my last post. There hasn’t been a lot of good in these last few months but there’s been at least one good thing to come out of it. That and a lot of other items will have to be discussed in another post. Today i wanted… Read more

  • empty

    A few days ago i made a decision that i hoped i would never have to make. It was the last time i would acknowledge someone that used to be my best friend and it hurt more than i can describe. There was no satisfaction in doing this, no satisfaction whatsoever. It was one of… Read more

  • Nisqually

    Today was a bit rougher than i thought it would be. I knew i was going to have to drive through my ex’s home town of Olympia. That includes Tumwater, Olympia and Lacey. Each town has more than a few memories. But it was going to Nisqually National Wildlife Refuge that i was simultaneously looking… Read more

  • As a guy with a vasectomy, it’s not terribly common for others to comment on my choice to not reproduce. But it does happen. Unfortunately in our double standard culture and societies, it seems that women are targeted and have their integrity questioned when they choose to not have children. This is a somewhat funny… Read more

  • have you ever been in love?

    I had a date last weekend with a woman that i found to be more remarkable than i had anticipated. While she asked the lions share of questions, it was her last question to me that has stuck with me. “Have you ever been in love?” Gods, yes. Too many times? Not enough times? Neither… Read more

  • This is the Thank You letter that i sent to all of the people who supported me over the last year. I could not and i WOULD not have my dignity and objectivity back were it not for each of you. Having said that, there are some of you that i’m sure i missed. So… Read more

  • back to the sweatatorium

    I am finally in a position to be able to go back to the gym. Yesterday was my first day back and it was a true moment of humility for me. At the peak of my working out prior to losing my job and subsequently having surgery on my left foot (bone deformation addressed with… Read more

  • I went to the Oregon City library today so that I could focus on getting some things done without interruption. I’m on my laptop and quietly minding my business when this golf pencil came flying near me and landed near the woman sitting across from me. Whoever did it did was on the public computers… Read more

  • Sigh. Once again someone has admitted to me that they are not being honest with their psychologist. Why do you even bother to go? Yes, there’s a difference between eventually disclosing all of your issues; that i get. But that’s not what i’m talking about here. This is a situation where someone is deliberately withholding… Read more