I have a lot on my mind these days, namely the way that silence can be the harshest word never spoken. I’ll have to keep that for another time.
If you look at the side, you’ll notice some journal archives from 2008 [jan apr]. Wow. Talk about interesting. These entries come from a time in my life prior to my sleep therapy. As i was transcribing those pages into WordPress [my publishing software for this journal], i noticed a couple of things.
Continue reading “some changes and observations”
Ideas and desires curl and nest inside of me. Some days and some better nights, i get to let them uncoil and rampage through the landscape of my life. There are so many things i want to say, want to write, want to paint, want to feel under my hands and taste in my mouth.
But tonight nothing is coming to me. I know there are these things i’ve wanted to express for a while, letters i want to write but when i try to make them coherent, they disappear. I desire curves and softness and conversation but my room is empty, my bed unmade.
And now the clock is looking at me in that way that says my day is over whether i like it or not and so i go to put myself and these ideas and desires to bed and try to write something coherent tomorrow.
As i write this, Borders [BGP, currently delisted], is closing about 33% of their stores. During the last holiday season, their sales were dismal whereas Barnes and Noble posted healthy profits. This is so depressingly wrong.
Let’s play that game that i like to play so much: compare and contrast.
I don’t make much money. I work for a high school and clear less than $2000 a month. That’s a fiscal reality that i have to plan my life around. I also like books. Lots and lots of books… and dvd’s and cd’s. Ask anyone that’s helped me move. I like books.
Continue reading “Borders rocks, Barnes and Noble is a joke and why your e-reader is teh weaksauce”
It’s coming up on that time of year where i get to reflect on the changes my life has undergone since i began being treated for sleep apnea. In a few days, it will have been three years since i began sleeping with a bi-pap assisting my breathing at night.
When a stroke patient [that survives], receives an MRI, the damaged and necrotic tissue in the brain can be seen and quantified. The reason i bring this up is because of a conversation i had with my otolaryngologist. For years i felt stupid. I was unable to grasp basic concepts, follow instruction and was prone to being moody [not to mention my insatiable hunger and continual drive to sleep]. The first morning i had after using the bi-pap was a turning point in my life. I’ve written extensively about this. What i couldn’t understand then that i have since realized is that i believe that after 15-18 years of being oxygen deprived at night [to recap: my hypoxia index was at 53% and continuing to fall during my initial sleep study], it’s entirely within the realm of possibility to consider that a prolonged lack of oxygen would have an impact on my brain. Brain tissue wouldn’t be necrotized, as is with the case of stroke victims.
Continue reading “3 years of being awake and awaker and awaking”
