A few weeks ago i’m at work and need to use the toilet. It happens to the best of us. There’s one in a wing of the school that isn’t as trafficked as the others- so that’s where i go. Besides, it’s in the middle of class so what are the chances that anyone else is going to need it?

I’m in there minding my business and a knock comes on the door. “Busy!” i reply. I guess i could have shouted something else like, “No thanks! I’m doing fine by myself” or “POOPIES ARE HERE!”, but i don’t. “Busy” seems to be relatively well contained and self explanatory.

Less than two minutes later, the same person knocks again. No, really? Think about it for a second. I’m in a bathroom that has precisely 3 vectors for entry and exit. One is the door that you’re standing outside of, the other is below where i’m sitting and the other is the hole at the bottom of the sink. Now, you’re in a school and seeing as how you’re knocking on the door of a staff bathroom, and i’m pretty sure you’re not a student, it should be mostly obvious to anything from a mollusk on up that chances are that i’m still in there. In fact, chances are that i’m STILL FUCKING BUSY.

You idiot. And you work in a school? Was having  the other staff bathroom 6 feet away somehow confuse you?

(note: i do not know who this staff member was- i had never seen her before nor have i seen her since)