This is a post i recently left on my TF2 clans page (even though i seldom play, let alone enjoy playing, video games these days, my TF2 clan runs a good forum). Apparently some people found my latest post amusing.
Years ago i bought a copy of Risk 2210. Unfortunately i never played it and i figure that if i haven’t played it by now, i probably never will. Apparently most board games require ingredients called, “friends” or “suckers” or even, “small children that are kidnapped and dragged into my bunker.” And since i have very few of any of these (and have since been asked to stop referring to the small children that i kidnap and drag to my bunker as “friends”), i have decided it’s time for me to give away my rather large collection of used teefs as well as my copy of Risk 2210.
So if you’re an active board gamer and can tear yourself away from writing your manifesto for a bit, let me know your basics such as:
1) what your name is
2) how many teefs you have
3) where i might be able to send you this copy of Risk 2210 (which is curiously void of teefs)
4) the condition of your beautiful, beautiful teefs
5) how you feel about panel vans. This can be done in an essay of 10,000 words- give or take three or four words or if you’re inclined, a rendition of your feelings as rendered through interpretive dance.
I would deeply prefer the person interested be one of the fine folk that i’ve learned to hate or love (depending on if you’re on my team or not- and yes, i am looking at you, Parasyte) while playing Team Fortress 2 -or- that you have incredibly sexy teefs (aka: “teeth”) that you no longer need and have often dreamed of living the rest of your life as someone that doles out “smoothies” to guys that drive panel vans. Just putting that out there yaknow… just in case.
Now- what do i really want in return? Honestly? Just someone that will get some use out of it and not be a bag of dicks and turn around and sell it. The truth is that between the cost of this game used ($20) and the shipping involved ($10+), it’s not worth my time or money to list it on eBay (who apparently have some fascist policy on selling or buying used -or even NEW- teefs!! OMGWTF ?!?). And there’s just no way in hell i’m giving it to Goodwill because they’ll just feed all the small plastic parts to children and seagulls and to geriatrics that fall asleep in their wheelchair. So if you’re a gamer and love panel vans and teefs as much as i do, drop me a line.
It may be a while before i get it in the mail but that’s because it’s winter and the donkey is always hard to start this time of year.