a difference in philosophy

Last Friday i had an interview in Seattle (yes, Friday the 13th). I think i did reasonably well but in any interview setting, there are always two factors that will work against me. The first is, it’s an interview. No matter how confident i am in myself and my abilities, there’s a part of me that’s nervous. There were a couple of answers that i gave that i wish i could have done over again.

The second thing is that you never know who your competition is. In my case, i went to interview for a job that’s in Seattle- Microsoft’s back yard. I’m a decent technician but i’m not a master of any given technology. To compound that further, i’ve been doing primarily Macintosh support for a while now and while administering Mac’s is a dream in many regards, not working with Windows on a daily basis has slowed my Windows administrative skills considerably.

So after a long drive from Olympia back to Oregon City, i get out of my car. One of my roommates is there. He asks, “So, how did it go?”

“I think it went well but it’s out of my control now,” i replied.

He stops and says, “Well, most of your life is out of your control.” Then he walks away.

And i just stood there for a minute, dumbfounded. And maybe because his comment disgusted me so much, i muttered to myself, “Almost all of my life is in my control.”

I get that bad things happen to each of us. But even in those cases, many times the bad things are the result of our decisions and the results of others making bad decisions. You get cancer and have your lungs, lips and throat carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey because you dedicated your life and finances to smoking. Your family is T-boned by a drunk driver and you’re left to bury them because someone decided to get behind the wheel after drinking, thinking they’d done it before and no one got hurt, so why not do it again?

I’m not entirely happy with where i am in my life. But where i differ from my roommate on this is that while he may see himself as a result of what others have done to him, i see my situation as the result of the decisions i’ve made. I should not have gone to college as young as i did. I should have had some real life experiences before i went. I should have addressed my sleep apnea many, many years ago instead of being proud. There’s a reason why Pride is considered the worst of the “Seven Deadly Sins”. Pride keeps you from doing what’s right because there’s a strength to be found when you’re arrogant, sanctimonious and when believing you’re right is more important than doing what’s right.

Mind you, there’s a distinction between what’s considered “pride” and what’s considered “honor”.

I’m sure i have more to say although not so much on this subject. I keep meaning to do more entries but there appear to be more things to do than there are hours in the day. Battlefield 3 does NOT help things at all. Stupid, stupid timehole.