This an actual quote from a singles site:

HI MY NAME IS [name deleted] AND I HAVE 3 KIDS SO IF YOU DONT LIKE KIDS PLEASE DONT BOTHER BECAUSE THEY ARE MY LIFE AND I WOULDNT GIVE MY KIDS UP TO PLEASE ANY MAN NO MATTER WHAT THE LAST GUY I WAS WITH DIDNT LIKE ONE OF MY KIDS TO WELL… I AM LOOKING FOR HAPPINESS SOMEONE WHO IS SMART / FUNNY / WHEN I THINK OF MORE THINGS I WILL UPDATE MY PROFILE SORRY THINGS ARE SO BLUNT BUT THAT IS ME .. IF U ARE LOOKIN FOR SOMEONE TO WALK WITH AMD SMILE AT OR HAVE A HEART TO HEART I AM YOUR WOMEN!!! I LOVE TO GET ON…

I am just so giddy. This one is a keeper!

This isn’t just a trainwreck- it’s so full of wrecky goodness that scientists and grammarians will need years to find a new word to describe how this one woman, on her own, managed to rape the English language this bad. Gang Bang bad.

Way to go, slick. As if Gresham [yes, her profile says she’s from Gresham] really needed you to help wound their image more than it is.

One of these nights, i expect these turds of Gresham will rise up and burn down the local Borders for being "elitist" or satanic because they have books- then everyone will get into their Trans Am’s, crank up the Foreigner and drive to the Burger King to get some dinner. Then they’ll go back to their shanty, watch some WWE, stuff their heads with pork rinds, then relax with a nice Newport Menthol before the NASCAR race starts.

And you bred… THREE TIMES? You’ve already squeezed three stomach monkeys from your vaa-jay-jay? Well, since you’re in Gresham, are you nineteen or something? Was the daddys name Clevon; by chance? Fuck me. Mike Judge was right… more than that, history will vindicate Idiocracy by elevating it to "prophetic" status.

What else? I had a very nice date a couple of weekends ago. I’m not sure where it’s going, if anywhere, but i think there’s some potential there. I hope she does too.

It’s spring here. There aren’t too many more days before the school year ends and the little urchins get to enjoy a few weeks without my screaming at them, blowing my whistle, telling them to take their goddamned little gay ass hoodies off, asking for their hall pass and being a general pain in the ass. And those are just some of the reasons why they’ll miss me too. For my part, i’m feeling some anxiety about this summer. Chances are good that PPS will have work for me, but there’s no guarantee. In addition my medical premium has gone up 900% and my deduction for my pension has kicked in as well. That’s about $200 gone from my paycheck every month.

One of the things i really like about my job is the fact that i get to come home with a clear conscience. I don’t have to serve weasels, i don’t have to deal with pretensious marketing and/or sales fucks, i don’t have to work with people whose life ambition is to fuck over as many other people as possible to boost their self esteem.

And that’s the thing about working at PPS- we’re all there to help make Portland a little bit better. Myself included.

There’s something else- something bigger than this entry merits. It weighs on me in a way that forces me to examine myself and the effect i have on others.

Maybe next time.